HillBook
by StarvingWriterMaeve
Summary: Helga finally gets a Facebook.


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WELCOME BACK!

**HELGA PATAKI'S PROFILE**

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-**Helga Pataki **is finally on the Internet._ 10 minutes ago_

**-Wall Info Photos Video +**

-What's on your mind?

_-Recent Activity:_

- "." Helga wrote on Phoebe Heyerdahl's Wall.

- "." Olga wrote on Helga's Wall: "BABY SISTER, I MISS YOU!"

- + Helga is now friends with Phoebe Heyerdahl.

- + Helga joined Facebook.

**. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .**

Write something about yourself.

**. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .**

**Information:**

Networks:** Hillwood High '11**

Siblings: Olga Pataki

**-About Me** - Basic Info:  
-Sex: Female  
-Hometown: Hillwood  
-Interested in: Men  
-Looking For: Friendship  
-Helga is Single **  
Bio:** **-Activities:** Baseball, school, friends, **  
-Like Pages:** Baseball at Gerald Field, Big Bob's Electronics, The Pier, Dinoland, Slausen's Ice Cream Parlor, Monkey Man, Wearing Pink, and 10 other pages.  
**-Music:** Everything except rap or country. Or Ronnie Matthews.  
**-Books:** _Moby Dick_, _Harry Potter series_ **  
-Movies:** any and all Zombie movies,_ Back To the Future trilogy_**  
-Television: **Yo, Ernest!, Pop Daddy, St. Pete Beach, Crab Catchers, ZH2's I Adore The 90's, 48

* * *

**News Feed (300+) **

+** Helga Pataki **is now friends with **Gerald Johansen, Herald Berman, Arnold Shortman **and **20 other people.**

**Gerald Johansen- Helga Pataki: **You've upgraded to cyberbullying now too?  
-_**Harold Berman**__, __**Wolfgang**__ and 4 others like this._  
**Helga Pataki:** Shut up, Tall Hair Boy!  
**Gerald Johansen:** Make me!_  
-__**2 people**__ like this comment_ **  
Phoebe Heyerdahl: **Please, stop it, both of you!

**Arnold Shortman** is now in a relationship with **Lila Sawyer.**  
_**-Gerald Johansen**__ likes this._  
**Helga Pataki**: Since when?  
**Rhonda Wellington Lloyd**: OMG! I knew it!  
-_**Nadine**__ likes this._**  
Sid: **Haven't you been together since the beginning of the year?**  
Stinky Peterson: **I reckon Arnold's been courtin' Miss Lila since fourth grade.  
** -Arnold Shortman:** Thank you for sharing, Stinky.

**Stinky Peterson **likes lemon pudding and growing pumpkins.

**Eugene Horowitz:** tripped going down the stairs today. Doctor's say I'll be able to walk again next month. Hopefully I'll be okay enough to perform in our school musical!**  
Sheena:** Aww, feel better soon! **  
Sid**: Jinx! **  
-Arnold Shortman:** Eugene is not a jinx. **  
Harold Berman:** arnuld's the jinx! **  
-Arnold Shortman:** I am not a jinx.**  
-****Sid:** whatevs

**Helga Pataki - Arnold Shortman: **What was our chem lab on, Football Head?**  
Arnold Shortman - Helga Pataki: **The affects of heat on different metals. **  
-Gerald Johansen: **Why would you tell her that? You should've just let her fail.  
**-Helga Pataki: **Stop being a dick, Geraldo. _  
-__**Wolfgang**__ likes this comment._  
**-Arnold Shortman: **Gerald, why are you so mean to her? **  
-Gerald Johansen: **Don't even get me started. And Helga, shut up.

**Gerald Johansen, Sid, Stinky Peterson, **and **8 other friends **like playing baseball in Gerald Field.

* * *

**Eugene Horowitz** I'm okay.  
_-**1,208 people** like this._

**+ Gerald Johansen** is now friends with** Fuzzy Slippers**.

**Arnold Shortman - Helga Pataki:** Are you okay? We missed you at the game today against our old P.S. 119 rivals. **  
Helga Pataki - Arnold Shortman:** Stop being so damn nosy. I'm allowed to have a life outside of our back lot baseball crew. **  
Arnold Shortman - Helga Pataki:** Sorry for caring.

**Phoebe Heyerdahl, Helga Pataki **and** Rhonda Wellington Lloyd **like making up code names for boys so they don't know you're talking about them.

**Lila Sawyer - Arnold Shortman: **I can't wait for tonight! Happy One Month! Love you! _  
-__**Rhonda Wellington Lloyd**__ and __**10 others **__like this_

**Helga Pataki - Phoebe Heyerdahl**: Answer your phone NOW!

**Monkeyman** likes bananas. _  
-**1,458,950** people like this._

**Sid, ****Gerald Johansen **and** Fuzzy Slippers **like telling Urban Legends.

* * *

**Gerald Johansen:** found another pink notebook on the way to school today. I don't know if I should be concerned about** Arnold Shortman**'s safety or privacy.  
**Harold Berman: **LOL. that girl's poems were sooo weird.  
**-Thaddeus Gammelthorpe: **The girl is crazier than me!

**Arnold Shortman** is confused. **  
Steely Phil:** Girl problems? **  
-Arnold Shortman: **Grandpa, who gave you access to the Internet? **  
-Steely Phil:** Al Gore.

**Gerald Johansen - Arnold Shortman: **Call me, dude. We gotta talk.

**Helga Pataki: **It's a good Monday when you get suspended for a school week. . . It's not my fault **Brainy **was asking for it by breathing.  
**Olga Pataki: **Helga, what did you do? **  
Helga Pataki**: Punched a kid in the nose.  
**Olga Pataki: **That's awful Baby Sister!

**Sid **joined Mafia Wars! Help him earn 1000 points by joining his crew - _Big Gino's Boys_.

**Steely Phil **likes Chinese Checkers, The Pig War and single-handedly stopping Hitler.

**Sheena **uploaded the photo: **Mr. Simmon's Fourth Grade Class**_**  
-Eugene Horowitz **__and **3,023 people** like this  
-showing 1 of 400 comments: _**Herald Berman: **WERE SO SPESHAL!

* * *

**Harold Berman **loves how quiet school is without **Helga Pataki **around.  
**Helga Pataki: **Don't make me get an even longer suspension. I will hurt you.  
**Harold Berman: **I'm so scared.

**Gerald Johansen - Phoebe Heyerdahl: **I love you. Happy Six Years! I'll see you in an hour.  
**-**_**2,067 people** like this._  
-**Phoebe Heyerdahl: **I love you, too. See you then.

**Thaddeus Gammelthorpe **is "Local Boy Has Been Caught Releasing Animals From the Zoo"  
**Rhonda Wellington Lloyd: **I hope you're rotting in jail.  
**Lila Sawyer: **Rhonda, that's ever so mean.  
-_**Arnold Shortman**__ likes this comment._  
**Thaddeus Gammelthorpe: **I hope you'll wait for me Rhonda.  
**Rhonda Wellington Lloyd: **Never, Curly!**  
Thaddeus Gammelthorpe: **Well, don't fret about being impatient. I am not in jail. I'm at your house.  
**Rhonda Wellington Lloyd: **You are the most annoying creature on the planet. LEAVE ME ALONE.

**Stinky Peterson** and **Lila Sawyer **are playing Farmville.  
-**Sid: **I'm not surprised.

* * *

**Arnold Shortman - Helga Pataki: **I've tried calling your house but no one's answering. I have your week's worth of missing school work.

**Arnold Shortman **likes Lockjaw, Big Cesar, Eating contests, Pigeon Man, Saving The Neighborhood and 13 other pages.  
-**Helga Pataki: **STOP LIKING EVERYTHING! YOU'RE SO ANNOYING!

**Arnold Shortman **is at **Gerald Johansen**'s for Friday Night Poker._**  
-Stinky Peterson**__, __**Sid,**__ and __**3 others **__like this_**  
-Lorenzo: **I'm missing violin for this.

**Harold Berman **cannot play poker.  
**Sid: **Yeah, because it actually involves using your brain._  
-__**Stinky Peterson **__likes this._  
**Arnold Shortman: **Guys, let's not fight.

**Rhonda Wellington Lloyd **is hosting another Girl's Night!_**  
-Nadine**__, __**Sheena**__, and __**5 others **__like this_**  
Helga Pataki:** I've got the pizza. Be there in five.

**Sheena **loves playing Truth or Dare with the girls. Tons of secrets have been revealed!_**  
-Lila Sawyer**_ _likes this._

**Harold Berman **still sleeps with his Wally stuffed animal and on plastic sheets.**  
-**_**20 people**__ like this._  
**Harold Berman: **AHHH! HOW DO YOU DELTE THIS?

**Harold Berman **left his profile open on Gerald's computer. Idiot.  
-**Harold Berman: **I'M GOING TO POUND YOU ALL!

* * *

**Willie (Jolly Olly Man) **I hate my job. And I hate kids, especially high school kids. And Saturdays, I hate those too.  
**-**_**1,345,067** people like this._

**Sid - Arnold Shortman: **Please tell me I'm crazy and I didn't see you and HELGA TOGETHER at The Pier today.**  
-Gerald Johansen: **Arnold would never voluntarily spend time with the Devil. Especailly not on a Saturday.**  
-Arnold Shortman: **You realize that everyone can see this, right?**  
-Rhonda Wellington Lloyd: **It's true! I saw it! YOU AND HELGA WERE K-I-S-S-I-N-G AT THE PIER.  
_**-1000 people**__ like this comment._

**Sid - Helga Pataki: **WHY WERE YOU KISSING ARNOLD?

**Gerald Johansen - Helga Pataki:** Is this some kind of sick prank?

**Rhonda- Helga Pataki: **Answer your phone, damn it! THIS IS IMPORTANT.

**Phoebe Heyerdahl - Helga Pataki: **Helga, I'm coming over.

**Lila Sawyer - Arnold Shortman: **We need to talk.**  
Steely Phil: **Uh oh._  
-__**3 people **__like this comment._**  
Arnold Shortman: **I can explain.  
**Arnold Shortman: **Please, answer your phone.

NEW PRIVATE MESSAGE TO:** Lila Sawyer**  
FROM: **Arnold Shortman**

Since you refuse to answer my calls, and it's too late on a Sunday night to go to your house, I'm going to explain here.

I had called Helga on Friday to give her her homework. She said she would get it on Saturday, so as I was walking towards her house, we ran into each other. She thought I was making her come pick it up, but. . . anyway, I ended up having to explain to her how to do a lot of the work since she missed class. We somehow just ended up spending the entire day together at The Pier. I don't even know how it happened, but it did. She's not as bad as everyone thinks she is. And I just. . . I don't know. . .

I'm sorry. I just don't know what else to say. I know you probably hate me.

**Lila Sawyer: **It's okay, Arnold. I don't hate you.  
**Lila Sawyer: **And I know you like her.**  
Arnold Shortman: **What? No! I don't like Helga.**  
Lila Sawyer: **I'm certain you're lying.**  
Arnold Shortman: **I. . .

**Lila Sawyer **is listed as "single".

* * *

**Sid **is wondering why Helga Pataki deleted her Facebook._  
-__**Lorenzo **__and __**16 other people **__like this._**  
Phoebe Heyerdahl: **Because you're an asshole!-Helga

**Cousin Arnie **is considering another visit to Hillwood._  
-__**Lila Sawyer **__likes this._

**Cousin Arnie - Arnold Shortman:** FYI, I'm coming into town tomorrow._  
-__**Steely Phil **__likes this._

* * *

**Arnold Shortman **hates Tuesdays even more than Mondays.  
**Harold Berman **you only hate this 1 bc you have to see Helga and your weird cousin Arnie.  
**Gerald Johansen: **Be positive dude.

**Stoop Kid **likes being afraid to leave the stoop.

**Arnold Shortman **is busy until Friday hosting **Cousin Arnie. **

**Lila Sawyer **is in a relationship with **Cousin Arnie.  
Gerald Johansen: **That was fast. You were single for what. . .five minutes? _  
-__**20 people**__ like this comment._  
**Arnold Shortman: **Don't be mean, Gerald.

* * *

**Sheena **just had the craziest Friday of the school year. It was crazier than **Thaddeus Gammelthorpe**'s fifteenth breakdown._  
-__**3 people**__ like this._  
**Brainy: **I'm still bleeding!

**Brainy **saw **Arnold Shortman **and Helga making out at school in the janitor's closet O_o I have another broken nose and possible concussion..._  
-__**1,037, 792 people **__like this.  
showing 8 of 1,000 comments: _**Eugene Horowitz: **WHAT THE FLUFF DID I MISS?**  
Harold Berman: **HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!**  
Sid: **I told you!  
-_**2 people**__ like this comment._**  
Sheena: **I KNOW!  
**Rhonda Wellington Lloyd: **Holy shit!  
**Thaddeus Gammelthorpe: **Rhonda, I'll be waiting for you in that closet.  
**Rhonda Wellington Lloyd: **I will lock you in there forever.  
**Stinky Peterson: **How's your nose, Brainy?**  
-Brainy:** It's been worse.

**Gerald Johansen - Arnold Shortman:** Make out in the janitor's closet? REALLY?_**  
-Steely Phil**__ likes this_

**Thaddeus Gammelthorpe **is sad that Rhonda removed me as a friend. :( I STILL LOVE YOU, BABY.

**Helga Pataki **rejoined the Internet and I'm ready to fight somebody. Watch out **Brainy**.

**Arnold Shortman **is happy that it's finally the weekend. I survived the weirdest week of my life.**  
Helga Pataki: **What the hell does that mean Football Head?**  
Arnold Shortman: **I meant because Arnie visited.

* * *

**Gerald Johansen **uploaded a photo and tagged **Arnold Shortman** and **Helga Pataki **and commented: I NEEDED PROOF. . . I still don't believe it. I believe in the Ghost Bride and Wheezin' Ed getting married more than this. They're. . . KISSING! Ew.  
-_**Phoebe Heyerdahl **__likes this._**  
Helga Pataki: **Why are you such a stalker?**  
Gerald Johansen: **Actually, you're the stalker. I just figured out that you wrote those poems. _  
-__**Arnold Shortman **__likes this comment._**  
Helga Pataki: **I hate you, Geraldo.**  
Gerald Johansen: **I love you too, Helga.  
-_**Arnold Shortman **__and __**Phoebe Heyerdahl **__like this comment._

**Arnold Shortman **is in a relationship with **Helga Pataki.**_  
-__**1,037, 792 people **__like this._**  
Gerald Johansen: **You know it's real when it's Facebook official.  
**Rhonda Wellington Lloyd: **You two are so weirdly adorable together.

* * *

**Steely Phil - Arnold Shortman: **Your girlfriend with the pink bow is here.  
**Arnold Shortman: **You could've just called me downstairs.**  
Steely Phil: **Why would I do that? The Internet is cooler.

**Helga Pataki **just fucked **Arnold Shortman**'s brains out.**  
Wolfgang: **I did NOT need to know that.**  
Gerald Johansen: **That's disgusting.**  
Helga Pataki:** CURLY I AM GOING TO MURDER YOU._  
-__**Thaddues Gammelthorpe **__likes this comment.  
_

**Eugene Horowtiz **created the event HILLWOOD HIGH SPRING MUSICAL: RATS  
Friday, Saturday and Sunday April 28, 29, 30th.  
Starting at 7 p.m.  
Tickets are $5. Come support the Hillwood Theater class  
-**Helga Pataki **and **200 others** are attending  
RSVP NOW: Attending, Maybe Attending, Not Attending

* * *

**Helga Pataki** I've never laughed so hard in my life. :D Best anniversary date ever because **Arnold Shortman** cried while watching Princess and the Frog!  
_**-103 people** like this_.  
**Gerald Johansen: **Why were you watching a Disney movie?  
**Lila Sawyer: **Because Disney is amazing.  
_**-24 people** like this comment._  
**Stinky Peterson: **When Ray died? I did 2.  
**Sid: **It's like crying when Simba tries to get Mufasa to wake up. Everyone did it.  
**Gerald Johansen: **Where the hell have all the men gone?  
**-Jamie-O Johansen: **Gerald, I saw you cry when you rented Toy Story 3.  
**-Sid**: Looks like you're not so manly either, Gerald.  
**_-Lorenzo _**_likes this comment.  
_**Phoebe Heyerdahl:** Toy Story 3 was an emotional movie!

**Rhonda Wellington Lloyd** uploaded a picture via Facebook for Blackberry and commented: I don't even know what to say about this. . .  
**Helga Pataki:** Very funny. You guys are so mature, sneaking up behind us and making stupid faces.  
**Sid**: Maybe if you and Arnold stopped making out every ten seconds, we wouldn't make fun of you for it.

* * *

**Steely Phil** loves April Fool's Day! I have tons of pranks planned for** Arnold Shortman.**  
**-Helga Pataki:** Does it involve a blinding flash of light? If it does, I'm all for it.  
**-Arnold Shortman:** Helga, I promise not to push you into a pool today. I am making no such promise for my grandpa.

**Rhonda Wellington Lloyd **survived April Fool's Day without having to deal with Curly. Best Day Ever!

**Nadine** I heard the biggest rumor yesterday, and now I'm pretty sure I believe it.  
**Rhonda Wellington Lloyd:** What did you hear?  
**-Nadine: **Answer your phone!

**Wolfgang** likes pounding fourth graders.  
**Arnold Shortman:** Please tell me you mean *us*, not actual fourth graders.  
**-Wolfgang:** Of course I mean you, football face.

**Chocolate Boy** likes CHOCOLATE! and That Chocolate Loving Fish on Spongebob Squarepants.

**Rhonda Wellington Lloyd - Helga Pataki:** Answer your damn phone!  
**-Helga Pataki:** I got your text. What do you want?  
**-Rhonda Wellington Lloyd:** The truth.

**Helga Pataki** wants to kill the person who started that rumor about her. WHO THE HELL THINKS THAT!  
**Arnold Shortman:** What happened?  
**Helga Pataki:** Some asshole said that I was hooking up with your cousin! And that I was the reason he broke up with Lila.  
**Arnold Shortman: **What?  
**Helga Pataki:** Just call your cousin.

* * *

**Cousin Arnie** is listed as "single".

**Lila Sawyer **hates boys. :/  
_-****__476 people __like this._

**Arnold Shortman - Lila Sawyer: **Sorry my cousin is a loser. Are you okay?  
**-Helga Pataki**: ...  
**-Arnold Shortman:** Don't tell me you're jealous?

**Arnold Shortman:** I need some advice.  
**Steely Phil:** Never eat raspberries!  
_**-341 people** like this comment._  
**Arnold Shortman**: Grandpa, I'm serious.  
**Steely Phil:** So am I. Come down stairs and talk to me.

**Gerald Johansen - Arnold Shortman:** Phoebe tells me you and Helga are in a fight. I'm going to be honest, I expected this to happen a lot sooner, not a month in. I figure it would be two days in. . .  
_**-30 people** like this._  
**Arnold Shortman:** Thank you, Gerald, for helping the fight end sooner.  
**Gerald Johansen:** I don't appreciate your sarcasm.

**Helga Pataki **is in the mood to play football. Who ever wants to be tackled by a girl then lose any shred of dignity, come down to the park in 20 minutes.  
_**-Wolfgang, Herald Berman** and **5 other people** like this_

**Wolfgang **I cannot believe I actually lost to **Helga Pataki.** I feel really sorry of **Arnold Shortman.**  
**Harold Berman:** Ha ha! She's crazy.  
**Helga Pataki: **Do you want me to tackle you two idiots again?. . . Shut up.

* * *

**Arnold Shortman** Please stop asking for invitations to my funeral. I'm not dead. . . Our fight is over.  
_**-Steely Phil** likes this._

**Sid - Arnold Shortman:** Are you too busy making up with Helga or can you come play poker?  
**Arnold Shortman:** I'll be there in 20.

**Eugene Horowitz **don't forget about our school play! It's in three weeks!  
_**-Sheena **likes this._

**Helga Patak**i likes Boyfriend names your chest? Introduce him to your already named fists.  
**Thaddeus Gammelthorpe:** Oh, dear God.  
**Gerald Johansen:** TMI.  
**-Sid:** I agree ^  
**Arnold Shortman**: It's a joke.  
-**Sid:** So why did you have a bruised cheek this afternoon?  
**-Wolfgang**: Don't worry. I did that.

**Helga Pataki - Arnold Shortman**: Why did Wolfgang beat you up today?  
**Arnold Shortman - Helga Pataki**: Because I was standing up for you.  
**Helga Pataki - Arnold Shortman:** That's nice and all, but don't ever do it again unless you win. I can beat up Wolfgang, and if my boyfriend can't it's just embarrassing.  
_**-Steely Phil** and 42 other people like this comment. _

* * *

**+ Steely Phil** is now friends with **Pookie** and they are listed as "married".

**Pookie - Arnold Shortman:** Grasshopper, do you need more karate lessons?  
**Arnold Shortman - Pookie: **Grandma, you're on Facebook too?  
_**-Steely Phil** likes this._

**Pookie **HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYBODY!  
**Arnold Shortman: **It's just Arbor Day.

**Arnold Shortman:** Dinner at **Helga Pataki**'s house tonight. . .  
_**-83 people **like this_.  
**Gerald Johansen:** Meeting the parents? Good luck.  
**Sid:** LOL! You're so dead!  
**Phoebe Heyerdahl:** Talk about beepers.  
**Helga Pataki: **Please, don't talk about beepers.  
**-Sid: **Helga said please! Is it 2012 yet?

* * *

**Rhonda Wellington Lloyd **off to Paris for an "educational, life enriching experience". . .Yeah, right! I'll be back just in time for Rats!  
_-**Lila Sawyer **and **12 other people **like this._  
**Nadine: **I'll miss you! Have fun!  
**Eugene Horowitz: **Yay! Thanks Rhon!

**Thaddeus Gammelthorpe **Another night undetected at the zoo! The animals are freed, my job is done.  
_**-1,789,632 people** like this._

**Nadine**: Someone messaged me a link to Yo Ernest fan fiction…I'm a little terrified of TV show fans now.  
_**-Lila Sawyer** likes this._

**Stinky Peterson** Willikers!  
_**-2,037,752 **people like this._

* * *

**Helga Pataki** just another boring week in Hillwood. Hope **Rhonda Wellington Lloyd** is living it up for the rest of us.

**Rhonda Wellington Lloyd** uploaded 105 photos to "PARIS SPRING 2010"  
**Sheena:** Looks like you're having a blast, especially with the night life!  
**-Rhonda Wellington Lloyd:** You know it! ;)

**Gerald Johansen - Phoebe Heyerdahl: **Why haven't you answered your phone?  
**Phoebe Heyerdahl - Gerald Johansen: **Sorry baby! I was fencing with my dad. What are our plans for tonight?

**Arnold Shortman **I love how my date suddenly turns into a party. Thank you **Gerald Johansen.**  
**Helga Pataki: **Why are these people our friends?  
**-Arnold Shortman: **I don't know.

* * *

**Helga Pataki **I hate my parents.  
**Arnold Shortman: **Come over. I'll cheer you up :)

**Harold Berman **new Hillwood Shot Put record, baby! 20.2 meters! Weeks worth of training paid off!  
**-_12 people_**_ like this._  
**Stinky Peterson:** Congrats!

**Eugene Horowitz **Rats in 2 weeks!  
**-**_**Sheena** likes this._

**Arnold Shortman **And so it begins. . .  
**Gerald Johansen: **WWIII?  
-**Arnold Shortman: **Hell on Earth.

**Helga Pataki **Pretty sure my parents just kicked me out.  
**Olga Pataki:** What's wrong Baby Sister?  
-**Helga Pataki: **I insulted one of Bob's clients and he kicked me out after the meeting. I'll go back in the morning.

**Arnold Shortman **it's amazing who you find on the street when they stand outside your house in the rain.  
**Helga Pataki: **Shut up, Football Head and bring me new clothes.

* * *

**Sid: **I DON'T BELIEVE IT. **HELGA PATAKI **SENT OUT NUDES?**  
Rhonda Wellington Lloyd:** NO. WAY.**  
Arnold Shortman:** No she didn't Sid.  
-**Sid:** Maybe not to you.

**Helga Pataki **Fuck you all.

**Lorenzo **Helga deleted her friends off Facebook again. Does she hate us or something?  
**-_34 people like this._**

**Helga Pataki **I am going to kill **Cousin Arnie** with my bare hands.  
**-**_**Brainy** likes this._

* * *

**Eugene Horowitz **Now that there's no more drama, get ready to see a musical! Rats next week!_  
_

**Arnold Shortman: **Thank God it's all over! I hope I can make it through the rest of this school year alive.  
_**-Gerald Johansen** likes this._  
**Sheena: **Be positive, the only thing that's left besides Rats is exams!

**Rhonda Wellington Lloyd:** I'm back, bitches. Who missed me?  
_**-56 people** like this_.

* * *

**Eugene Horowitz **OPENING NIGHT WAS INCREDIBLE! THANKS EVERYONE FOR SUPPORTING ME, big thanks to **Sheena **for the roses.**  
Nadine: **Rats, we're rats, we're funny and forlorn. . .  
**Thaddeus Gammelthorpe: **We live in sewers  
**Rhonda Wellington Lloyd: **Love in sewers  
**Sheena: **And our hearts are torn  
**Sid: **We laugh, we cry  
**Lorenzo: **We sing in harmony  
**Gerald Johansen: **I love her  
**Phoebe Heyerdahl: **But I love him  
**Chocolate Boy: **And darn it, he loves me  
**Harold Berman: **Rats  
**Brainy: **Rats  
**Arnold Shortman: **Rats  
**Stinky Peterson:** Rats  
**Lila Sawyer: **Rats!  
**Eugene Horowitz: **You guys are awesome.

* * *

**Arnold Shortman: **Two months surprise for **Helga Pataki **tonight.  
**Gerald Johansen: **Who knew you were a romantic?  
_**-13 people **like this comment._

**Helga Pataki **uploaded a picture via Facebook for iPhone and commented: "Surprise dinner on the roof of FTi. **Arnold Shortman **has a weird sense of humor and romance."

**Gerald Johansen **Just realized that it's been seven years since we saved the neighborhood. And for some reason I feel like I missed something very important. . .  
_**-Phoebe Heyerdahl **and** 1,307, 389 other people** like this._  
**Arnold Shortman**: Uh. . . you didn't miss anything.

* * *

**Gerald Johansen **is wondering what the hell happened on the roof.  
**Phoebe Heyerdahl**: Believe me, you don't want to know.

**Arnold Shortman** changed his profile picture.  
**Sid: **It's not like we don't see you kissing enough.

**Gerald Johansen - Arnold Shortman: **You've been avoiding me for two days. I want answers damn it. Because I clearly remember a moment seven years ago when Helga answered your walkie talkie. . . What was I interrupting?

**Gerald Johansen **is very sorry I asked.

**Phoebe Heyerdahl** and **500 other friends **joined the group: 1,000,000 STRONG FOR YO, ERNEST: THE FOREST MOVIE BY CARL BARTOLOMEO!

**Arnold Shortman **is planning another surprise.  
**-Helga Pataki: **Oh, God, please don't take me to the roof.  
**-Arnold Shortman:** I won't. Trust me, you'll like this one more.

**Helga Pataki** WOW.  
**-Eugene Horowitz:** I saw. . . I saw. . .your face  
**-Helga Pataki**: Shut up, Eugene. This isn't time to quote Ronnie Matthews. THIS IS SERIOUS.

**Phoebe Heyerdahl - Helga Pataki:** HE SAID WHAT?

**Arnold Shortman - Helga Pataki:** In case you didn't hear me earlier, I love you.  
_-__**1,037, 792 people **__like this._

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******A/N: **Just in case you couldn't tell, they're all 16 years old in their junior year in high school.

Inspiration for this fic came from _**Alice The Fairy**_'s South Park story - Facebook Official.


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